Assalamualaikum & Greetings.
Hai, saya sihat, macam biasa.
I went hospital last Friday, doctor said I'm okay. I can bend now. I can do 'solat' properly right now, I'm freaking excited. Rasa bersyukur bila dah dapat sujud & ruku' elok elok, macam orang biasa, boleh solat betul-betul. Alhamdulillah ~ !
Itu sahaja.
Okay, next topic.
You know when someone that you're not expect to talk with you from the beginning you knew him, starts to talk with you, how do you feel?
As for me, hen desu yo. Hen. Neon mollagaesseo ?
It's odd, strange, weird & freak.
It happens to me, as for me, who is not good in social life, always ends conversation with anyone with awkward talks, I find that this is weird. Who the hell people outside this world would like to talk to me ? I'm a bored-type girl, I'm so not good in chatting. It always ends up by being speechless or awkward. I hate it.
So, this guy, I've known him from my recent school, what I know bout him are his former class, his name & his looks. I'd crush on his best friend. However, he chats me first, even though still now I hope his best friend would add me, but arimasen. Kanashi ne?
Dulu pun macam ni juga, tak rapat kat sekolah or asrama, tapi tetiba sembang kat social website. As for me, I think that's hypocrite. In reality, bukan bersuara pun, tengok pun tak. Aku jenis takkan pandang lelaki, kalau aku taknak. Aku takkan cakap dengan lelaki, kalau aku taknak. So, I don't have boy friends who are close with me and the only one I can talk with him very well, Khalis lah, sebab dia tuu mentally abused, asyik ejek aku je. Aku sakit hati, end up saya gaduh dengan dia =='
So, bagi lelaki yang nak rapat via social website, aku taksuka tau. I strongly hate them, and sometimes I feel that they are not allowed to live, sebab main kan hati orang & tipu diri dorang. Aku tak tipu dengan diri aku, aku tak chat dengan lelaki & aku memilih untuk chat dengan lelaki. Aku layan yang aku kenal sahaja.
Dan, kes dulu berlaku, sebab aku layan yang aku kenal tapi masalahnya, dia tak bercakap in reality life. That's fake, takkan perempuan start dahulu. Aku ego tau, dalam kes ini. Dan paling aku takut kalau dia dah mula suka chat dengan aku memandangkan dia takde siapa nak layan dia, aku macam baik hati layan dia, acting as easy-going girl, akhir sekali, tiba-tiba dia jadi macam ni:
[Rempit Ver.]
Baby chayunk awak, I lurve you. Sweet dream, dear.
[Normal Ver.]
(maaf, masih dalam investigation)
Kau ingat aku apa ? Naega geurokkae geurokkae man man ha ni? Ige bonde? Before cakap or chat dengan aku, fikir siap-siap, kau kena tau yang aku bukan jenis yang suka bersembang. Aku suka try tau, aku jenis observer, korang main belakang aku, aku tengok & investigate cara orang macam kau. Aku boleh jadi tension, kalau ada 10 orang macam ni.
Dan disebabkan kehadiran lelaki macam kau, aku takut nak dekat dengan lelaki. Aku takut dilayan sama. Aku takut nak rasa cinta dengan lelaki macam mana. Faham tak? Aku takut, sebab itu realiti. Aku takut sampai aku takut nak pandang. Aku tau aku cun, sombong, pandai, berlagak, membosankan tapi disebabkan cinta atau lelaki aku boleh jatuh tau, aku sedar, sebab tu aku takut. Dan siapa kenal aku betul betul, dia tau aku macamana & sedia terima sebagai kawan & tak kesah lah dia anggap aku ni apa. Aku boleh jadi lagi kejam dekat kaum Adam, sebab kan perbuatan dorang yang tak jujur & gila.
Cerita dia sebenarnya, aku kenal dengan dia ni, aku ingat sekali cukuplah sembang. Takyah lebih lebih, then dia pilih alternatif yang aku taksangka dia tanya aku, aku macam nan da o-mai wa ? At first aku hesitate, then aku betul betul taknak bagi, then dia offer dia punya digits in his thought that I was too late so he couldn't wait any longer. Dan kami sembang, aku tak sangka pulak yang dia tau aku siapa. Dulu, orang yang aku sembang dulu, tak kenal aku langsung. Yang kali ni pulak, dia kenal aku. Aku macam, WTF* ?! Aku expect dia tak kenal aku langsung, aku dah fikir dia ni suka main main, till now. Aku cerita kat best friend aku, Aan, dia support aku as if mamat tuu berminat dengan aku. Pffts, I know from the beginning it's impossible for someone likes me. Impossible, sebab aku pun, bukan sebarangan suka kat orang. Biasanya, bila aku minat orang, aku minat of course bukan rupa, it's because there's something special in my eyes of him. Anyway, I'm happy with everything happens to me even though it's bad or not, Alhamdulillah. Allah knows me well.
Wassalamualaikum & oyasuminasai.
