Deactivated Me

Assalamualaikum & Greetings (:

Macam tak percaya, almost 2 months I'm staying home for nothing, isn't that an achievement?
No, it's failure to me. Hhee, I'm not that disappointed or regretted with myself for making this decision, being the laziest housewife in this-almost-in-the-end world. Staying home & doing nothing just making you feel lazier & useless, and lazier & useless, and lazier & useless. I said over & over because I really meant what I just said: I just became lazier & useless, sometime. I'm kinda optimistic & over confident sometimes, about this & that, especially when everyone & myself know what I'm capable or pro at to. Even so, being too optimistic, in other word, being hyperactive, and too over confident, you might have problems later, so behave yourselves right.

Ya Allah, this February, this months, I'm getting crazy, frustrated sometimes.

That's all you need to know.

First.

I still love Park Sang Hyun, 

also known as Cheon Dung, means Thunder in Korean. Yeah, that's his Hello Baby's beloved son, Leo (: If I married one day or having relationship with someone, I will tell them, that Cheon Dung is really I love forever now. Sounds crazy & idiot right? Well, who cares anyway? But, if I married, in my heart will always my husband, I promise, though I seriously cannot get rid Cheon Dung away from my life. 

[Message for my future husband, kekekek~] 

"So, Mr. Husband, please don't hate Cheon Dung, or else I have to block you on Twitter & Facebook delete you digits in my contact list, even though we're married. I love you till end of my life <3"

Second.

I just thought someone has crushed on me, 

...hhee. Sounds pretty ridiculous, right?

Me too, I'm too odd to have someone has crushed on me, or liking me. I'm just love being forever alone, even though of course as a girl who is 100% totally a human being & an earthling on this earth crust, I would want to love & to be loved by someone else. I feel that too sometime, but never mind. It is not that I hate people who likes me, actually I like it. It is because as for me, I'm not your right person, please find someone else better than me. You know, I have song I written about my feelings on this matter, I really wrote for this. I'll show you soon.

Third.

I watching TV more often right now, rather than spending most of my time in front laptop, doing same things all over again: chatting in FB & Twitter, blogging, watching online dramas & anime, reading online mangas, youtube-ing & sorta sorta. I need to spend my lifetime here with my family, especially mom & my lovely big sister, Adibah. While I'm still here with them, I need to spend time with them, be with them, laugh together with them while I still available to be with them at home. 5 years I spent most of my time with studying & hostel life, so now, with 2 months and few weeks more, I just need my time with them, I know they needed me with them too. I'm thinking to get job this March, after getting P, so while I'm still here, they should appreciate me here more. 

Fourth.

Korean dramas & variety shows really my problem right now, I watching them too often. 

My Love, Stay by My Side - Take Care of Us, Captain - Salaryman Cho Han Ji - Dream High 2 - Lie to Me - Wild Romance - MBLAQ Hello Baby 5 - Strong Heart - Star King - Running Man - Music Bank - Inkigayo

Also, anime. 

Nana - Fairy Tail - One Piece - Tegami Bachi

And, online game. This is too much. I just stuck being forever alone noob in Glory Destiny.

Fifth.

Instead of drawing, now I'm writing song lyrics. I can't  compose songs, 

because I don't know how to play any musical instruments, also never acknowledge music notes. So, I don't compose songs, but I do write lyrics. I need inspirations, and emotions, also knowledge to write lyrics. Instead of playing with musical instruments, I rather humming the melody of the songs, and I recorded the songs I created, from intro to its final. most of my songs. Next time, I'll try to play piano, okay? Wish me luck. Also, I'll try my best in writing lyrics.

Sixth.

I've learnt Japanese & working on my English. I want to speak English but sometimes I feel so awkward I don't know why that even happens on me, I'm tearing because I know I can, but I can't. Duhh, this is because I have low self-esteem, but not extremely low. You should not underestimate me, before saying Hi to me. I'm perfect if you know me better, cheh. Orang kata aku selalu perasan, berlagak, sombong, bajet, poyo, macam bagus. In fact, I AM THAT GOOD. 

Because I believe, people all same, you need to have self-confidence more about yourselves & put a strong desire & passion on everything you do to be good. Believe me, every humans this world has a chance to be perfect, but failed due to being hesitated in making decisions.

Se7enth:

I just loved Se7en's When I Can't Sing, 

this song has good lyric, even though it doesn't related much with me. Whatever it is, this month, I have to renovate back my playlist. This is bad, because I need myself to think which songs should remained or just removed out from my playlist. BigBang's Blue & Miss A's Touch, Dream High 2 cover songs, I love all of them. Okay, I need time.

Eighth:

Btw, now I'm good in make-up, I can dress-up myself well too. 

I know this thing shouldn't be proud of but you know, I used to be tomboy when I was a kid, till 15. The problem is, when I'm going out with style I like so much, people will always set their eyes on me, and some of them might think me not that 18 anymore. They always have a thought that I'm married or 20 something or widower. Whatever it is, I'm proud of myself, dressing like that. Dressing like 18 girls, is so immature of me, because if I dress up like my age, I don't know, I just feel I can't do a thing. If I dress up & wear something I like, I have high self-esteem even though some people hate what I'm wearing. Who cares? I always want something fresh in my closet, but budget doesn't support me well lately, I don't work, remember? Takpe,

cukup masa, aku beli. 

That's all from me. Thank you.

Wassalamualaikum & Sayonara mina-sama (:

P/S: Whoever read this post;

I am JB-Haesung couple from DH2 shipper, I really hope this couple ends happily in that drama. Also, I really want to have P & pass the JPJ test, it is around the corner, please pray for me. Love you~!