Assalamu'alaikum & Hi.
Seriously, Anis?
誰にも見せられないもの
頭の中溢れて
Indescribable pain I feel rn well tbh I can potray it if you allow me to, but nvm.
In my head, there are a lot of things, most likely it is occupied by untitled folders which contain unsolved questions or cases, and wth is wrong w me rn?
Orang cakap, everyone has their own problems; and ada orang lain, masalah dia lagi teruk daripada kita. "Cuba put yourself into their shoes? Can you handle it, their problem? Bolehkah?" Allah baru uji sikit, takkan nak stress and then terus flip the table, cats, humans and everything? Nasihat seperti "Banyakkan berdzikir" "Solat sunat banyak-banyak" "Ingat, Allah selalu dengan kita" as well as "Kau sabarje lah weh, tahan je semua tuu...lek ah." ; yes, those kind of advice are normally people would use to react or respond and they are too cliche, yknow what I mean. Tapi, semua benda tu sangat benar. I mean, if you practice them betul-betul, dapatlah fruits dia. Bila Allah bagi ujian kepada kita, Allah nak kita cari dia and setiap ujian yang Dia bagi, kita boleh selesaikan sebab Dia Maha Mengetahui kekuatan & kelemahan hamba-hambanya. So, stick this in your mind, like forever. Whatever happens in your life, whether kau gembira, marah, in despair or frustration, carilah Allah and be closer to Him.
Musics and any kind of entertainments; yes, no doubt that those kind of stuffs boleh cut down our level of frustration but, they are nothing but just a painkiller. Don't ever let yourselves getting drown into hedonistic world, you will be barely able to comeback fast. 지금 장난하냐? 나 장난아냐 .For instance, dulu aku tak minat K-Pop and then later I drown in Hallyu waves, tapi sekarang still dengar but ughhh idek how to disconnect from it, till now. Hence, try to use alternative ways to relieve your stress. This is just another my thought, but I do think that some people who put on their earphones or beats when they are in public, they are trying to avoid themselves from the society. Idkw but I did that many times, sebab dah tak larat nak dengar whats the society talking & bragging abt. To begin w, benda tu salah but imo sometimes, you need spaces for yourselves, kan? Well at least, tak boleh selalu sangat buat. Try to be more concern to the society these days.
I heard this from someone(s) "Someone perlu selesaikan masalah ni." "Someone kena ubah dunia ni..." Why not someone tuu di kalangan kita? Eh, why not someone tuu kita sendiri? Okay, for example, ada nenek ni jatuh, and semua orang saksi kemalangan tu well, imagine the nenek is actually takdelah cedera mana but sedang on the ground lah rn, and you among the saksi yang ramai surround the nenek, but no one is helpping her but keeps staring and "Kesian nenek tuu..." "Mana anak dia? Anak tak guna betul, dapat anak yang biarkan mak dia jalan sampai jatuh ni" and at last "Takde siapa ke nak tolong dia?" "Someone or anyone, pls tolong nenek tuu, kesian gilos gua tengok dia cennggitu..." Siapa? Masalahnya, siapa? Kita sendiri. Why? I'm sick of people keep asking those kind of questions. Tak salah berharap orang nak tolong. Tak salah pun nak bergantung harap, relying on someone. But, in certain situation, why not you? Why not kita start dulu, benda baik-baik macam tu? Bila kita buat baik, with good intentions not to show off like hypocrite bitches, this will guide others to instill some good moral values in themselves. Tapi, biasalah, sometimes bila kita buat baik, ada je yang akan tak puas hati. Well, let them be. Bila nak buat baik, jangan hesitate.
Cakap banyak sangat, hari ini.
Well, I'm not in a good shape recently. In shaa Allah, esok dan hari seterusnya dan selamanya, aku okay. Orang kata, buat schedule ni such a waste but idt so. Aku rasa aku perlu buat smth w myself. Oh baru-baru ni, I've installed few apps, for communication use and idkw I did that even though aku dah disahkan untuk forever noob in communication whether via the Internet or real life. Segan? Yes but no. I just sometime, don't even wanna talk. Silence is gold, yknow but wth, communicate lah, Anis. Tak membunuh pun, but by words, you can kill people so be careful w the words we use every single seconds we spent to talk. Eh?
Act, the reason aku nak post, I thought nak update few abt myself but now wth? Aku tulis lain pulak.
Well, sokay. Now, I have my own diary, no need to report them here, unless kalau aku rajin..Well, sejak bila aku rajin? Ehemmm, I got Mid-Sem papers and the scores...ughhh. Baru few weeks habis Mid-Sem, but others from different u(s), dah graduate pun. Aku stuck lagi, but sokay no need to rush. Belajar je. Ilmu tu benda paling mahal kat dunia ni, fyi. One more thing yang aku macam wth sikit, my lecturer assigned us to write a five-pages article review. Karangan is smth I despise the most, since ever benda tuu diperkenalkan sejak aku sekolah menengah. Tak kesahlah, in what languages, still...aku tak suka. Takkan pernah suka. Well, it is no use to complain a thing right now. Aint nobody got time for that rn, kan? So stop bullshitting around, just buat je.
Aku kena self-contemplation a lot ni.
Idkw aku dengan confident nya, aku rasa I'm lacking of motivation, these days. Heh, next year dah 20 and you abt to enter mature-phase, I mean the busiest and most complicated phase in your life...ever. So, mesti lah nervous gilos. And even now, aku dah rasa macam 30, and people outside misjudge me saying that aku dah kawin with two kids, so what if aku dah really in twenties nanti? Orang probably will saying that aku ni dah ada cucu, anak semua doktor.
And those who wondering whether aku ni speak English fluently or not just bc aku tulis sometime mostly in English, frankly speaking aku average. I never use English as my mother tongue, it is always be Malay. Aku dibesarkan berbahasa Melayu, even though in exams aku tak pernah nak score in BM sehebar Chinese di sekolah aku, still I'm speaking in it. But now, ever since aku masuk u, desire to improve the way I speak and write in English, sangat...moderate...means aku ada niat nak improve. That's why I write in English, but bila write everything in English, macam too formal pulak kan? Well, takpe. Kita belajar. So, bila speaking? Serious shit awkward at first, sebab aku pronounce macam beaches. Still not used, entah bila nak biasakan idk. Let's try harder next time.
I talked too much wth.
Aku sekarang spent evenings for movies and personally idkw I did but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai? Nak nangis dohhh, I really feel like aku seems corrupted much. I mean, malas, locking up yourself in your own authentic cage, live happily as if you are that so-called rapunzel-my-ass and everything...ingat aku suka? Well, aku suka but not. Ikr benda tu tak elok. Gimme time and space. Hmmm...it seems like aku betul-betul reveal a bit abt myself. Ughhh I've had enough with myself.
Wassalamu'alaikum & Morneeeeeeengs.
P/S: Congrats to UltraEconss for winning the High-Spirited-Team title, at last menang pun. Aku pun contribute jugak, on previous Wednesday. Congrats to those who just graduated from any u(s), yang dah lepas pre-u level. Congrats to those habis final and start cuti sem. Live your life the fullest, you guys! And those yang nak final or few weeks before final, break a leg!
PP/S: Oyen dah nak balik, so Benny is back being single but available. I mean, nak hantar awek satu pun boleh, tapi risiko dibuli tu sangat tinggi.
PPP/S: Seriously, Anis? Another P/S?! Yesseu. Aku dah habis cerita nak tengok. Anime semua, aku tunggu someone recommend aku, yang bagus punyalah ofc. Disebabkan takde anime or any Japan movies or dramas, aku terpaksa tengok Korean. Satu episode dah rasa macam ten episodes, and sangaaaat slow. Hence, iTaksuka iRasa iNak tengok yang lain.
PPPP/S: Kalau salah, saya minta maaf.
PPPP/S: Kalau salah, saya minta maaf.
PPPPP/S:
Darn it. Betul sangat lah tu.
Aku tulis benda ni, dah nak subuh. Habislah, panda eyes gettin darken.
