Assalamu'alaikum, oh hai earthlings!
Cuti dah lama started, so what are my plans for this very-very-seriously-shit-looong holiday?
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...apparently, no plan. How unfortunate.
Jadi, apa aku buat sepanjang cuti ni? Imma rot and slowly rest in peace, dalam rumah. Okay, a big no ahhahahaha. With this exhausted brain, lazy-assed body, unmotivated soul, lost and spaced out somewhere always, well this is how I life rn. But, that's the fun imo.
Life can be anything, I just need to experience everything. So, nak kerja? Ahhahahah a strong no. This is just not the right time for it. Well, actually, before the holiday started, aku dah fikir and come out for plan, that is to get inspired and I actually need to finish smth. So, what is it? Drawings. Now, I need to come out with so many ideas and draw smth. But, actually this requires travelling and unfortunately, since I'm a shut-in so hell-no, ain't nobody got time for that.
Orang kata, "Buat pa hang melukeh bagai? Bukan buat duit! Membazir masa!" tbvh, idkw and it is just a part of my life. If aku tak melukis, so I kinda feel smth is missing, like rn. But, nak melukis, well, aku boleh randomly draw smth, but rn, aku perlukan smth untuk melukis and when it is done, I'll be satisfied. Smth that could straight through my heart. So, I come out with ideas, like creating stories.
Then, aku start writing. So many ideas to the extent that idk where to start. Itu pun masalah juga. And here, in Adam's, dah belambak cerita stored and it seems all of it have no ends. Oh wait. Some has meets its end but idkw it feels smth is wrong or missing when reading those shits back. Itu masalah juga, sebenarnya. I am bad at writing, never good at it to begin with.
However, now, I do have a story that I've been working for it ever since I was 14. Wah, dah 5 tahun. Luckily, it is finally has its end. Tapi, I don't properly write it down, I mean, the story is not properly arranged. The characters, semua dah ada. Bila aku jot down the story, aku tetiba menangis ahhahaha ofc bc of the story. Nampak sangat terpengaruh dengan any random melodramas. Later, then, aku terfikir smth. Better aku write smth yang more related to my life. Then, takkan nak buat tentang my bored and awkward life? Bullcrap.
I need to brainstorm more. However, doing that will cost me to disconnect from the reality. Bahaya sangat. Well, let's take everything slowly. No need to rush. Nak pergi mana pun? I guess, bila, like 5, 15 years in marriage and working, aku akan retire and start drawing stories. This is actually my dream. Gotta make this shit happens one fine day.
"Saya nak jadi arkitek!"
"Saya nak jadi polis" "...trafik!!!"
"Sebenarnya, aku nak jadi cikgu..."
"...private tutor je lah"
"Meh."
"..."
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"...jadi akauntan je lah. No turning back, pun." "Memang dah ditakdirkan kut." "Itu kut impian aku, selama ini..."
"..."
What?
Kenapa aku pilih accounting? Kenapa nak major smth in business, corporate field, kenapa? Jawapan in verbal sangat panjang, to the extent that I couldn't put everything in words. Yeah. Semua pilihan, ada hikmah. Semua perkara berlaku, pun ada hikmah.
Let's live in honest and righteous life. Then, your eternal happiness will be sure granted, by Him. In shaa Allah. Amiiin.
Wassalamu'alaikum.
P/S:
Actually, I would like to share dramas, movies, anime that I currently watch. Plus, to recommend something good or worth to watch. Unfortunately, I happened to post smth like this. Sounds personal.
PP/S:
It is not impossible. Have a faith.
