Assalamu'alaikum & yehet
I'm 19 and at the end of that day I cherished the existence of my very being on this world alone. Ironically, my own birthday is the one and only thing that I really want to forget. This year, though people come and go, runtuh jatuh gugur hati when there were some still remembering your birthday. They wished me and that means a lot to me.
Aku selalu promote birthday I, just because. But when, people do remember and wish me, saya terharu sungguh tau. Jarang orang ingat I, since my very existence isn't really significant in anyone's life but if some may think that aku ni worth to be kept in their memories, I would be really f-kcing daaaayum happy if I could be a piece or part of their life. For those who wished me, aku akan berusaha to cherish you guys, really. Though I am bad at granting wishes and keeping my words, tapi kesetiaan aku ni level infinity. I couldn't express my love, affection, concern, interests well, tapi dalam hati bertaman berdusun berladang bersawahpadi, I couldn't measure it and you'll never know the scale. You know, I only can promise you one thing: I will never hate and have hated you, because I simply can't. Aku tak bersuara doesn't mean aku tak suka or lupa, it is just deep inside my heart there's a belief that comforts me when I'm start missing anyones, whispering to me that "they'll be just fine, don't worry". I'm so sorry if my very being discomforts and offenses you.
Aku celebrated my 19th birthday with my bestfriend, Aziemah. Sejujurnya, that was my first time, having a friend there, celebrating with me. Dia belanja aku makaaaaaaaan. Even though, bagi kau perkara kecil, that was a really big deal to me weh! Aku paling terhaaaaru and my feels atm were indescribable. Aku memang suka orang belanja aku makan, of all things. Then, aku teman dia tengok Hobbit, instead of 47 Ronin. At last, I spent time with precious kakak at Setarbak petang tu. Birthday gift? Aku ni tak reti tbvh. But Ayah bagi these ninja shoes ahhahaha seriously selesa sangat! Hadiah paling best is being here with family, being here as a Muslimah, being yourself always. About that rabbit headband? Guwe dapat daripada mak guwe. Yehet.
Ini Mee Goreng Mamak versi Mak aku, ala-ala omputeh sikit. Macam spaghetti kan? Macamlah. Tapi serious sedap sangat. Kalau mintak resepi, I don't think dia ingat sebab dia jenis masak ikut suka hati secukup rasa riang ria dia je. Today, I went out cari handbag since bag aku tuu boleh buat segerombolan kucing menangis simpati, sebab dah uzur sangat. Unfortunately, takde. Then, petang tu, kami bertiga tengok 47 Ronin. Aku tbvh ingat tak best, sebab trailer dia macam so-so je. But then, tengok je lah citer tu, siap seludup setarbak jabacip dan gedabak besaq pop-corn tapi disebabkan tamak haloba aku tak mampu habiskan. Takde epic sangat tbvh, since I used to watch many shows from japan. Tapi, watchable lah, bolehlah nak tengok lagi. Aku balik je rumah, ada McFlurry. Yehet.
Aku nak make something out of my life. Nak draw something yang maybe amazing di mata aku. Tapi...
...the hell I care. I dah figured every shits out, but my guts have been telling me that I couldn't pull this shit off, screw me for being lack of self-esteem. If and only if aku ni self-assured, though it would offend anyone but for the sake of my dreams, just screw anyone who gets in my way. Tapi, malangnya, hati selembut downy tapi sekeras Miley's wrecking ball, aku bukan begitu. I do remember myself back then, aku cepat gave up. Sekarang? Yehet.
Aku ingat nak cuti tapi aku stuck in somewhere between dreamland and dramaland where only leads me to neverland. I'm so done with all my bullcraps.
Wassalamu'alaikum.
P/S:
PP/S:
Aku dah missed abt few eps of Reply 1994 tapi aku ada tengok spoilers...and gonna cont watching the show back just because my ship has finally arisen from the jeopardizing struggling deep blue sea of otps. Aaaand favorite japanese dramas are gonna end soon, iSad ):
