Assalamu'alaikum & Hi.
Recently aku muhassabah diri sebentar and I know that we as Muslims already learnt and acknowledged that "Bila kita buat dosa, kita akan dapat balasan juga, di dunia dan di akhirat. Dosa kecil mana pun, akan dibalas jua" Jadi, that's what exactly happened to me. That's what you get when you let your heart win, when enslaving yourself to desires.
Tuntasnya,
boleh berhenti buat dosa and start 'amar ma'ruf, nahi munkar.
Cakap senanglah, ce kau buat. Hold it right there, bro. How about we do this thing together? Kalau diajak melakukan perkara sia-sia that only satisfy your dunya needs, cepat aje and boleh pulak berjemaah. In contrast to the situation where orang diajak melakukan something yang nice, baik and benefits others, semua lari, sometimes dimarah, diejek and biasanya disuruh melakukannya berseorangan. Plus, ada pulak yang nak trendkan amalan baik dan sihat dengan campurkan sedikit dengan unsur yang mungkin mengakibatkan something buruk in the future. For instance, fesyen berhijab. It is to encourage Muslimah yang tak berhijab untuk berhijab and cara Muslimah moden ikut aliran fesyen, trend masa kini. However, ada fesyen berhijab yang langsung tak menjalankan fungsi sebenar hijab dalam hidup Muslimah and well tbvh, I'm not against it because memang nampak cantik di mata aku and since me too practicing it, imo. Pelik, kita tau benda dan perilaku itu tak elok, tapi kenapa masih buat atau kenapa tidak bendung perihal seperti ini. Pelik, but that is how this world works these days, buddy.
There were lotsa things happened on 1st January of 2014 and so, happy new year my dear earthlings!
Instead of celebrating new year di rumah macam biasa, that was my first time celebrating with friends. Wait, we were not really celebrating the day but kami keluar with mission - buat study plan. Semangat tak? Aaaand that was my first time driving alone! Oh actually, aku bawa geng sekali, but I was the one who driving the car and kereta tu manual, bro! Jangan main-main. Gegurl takut gak kalau didapati mengganas bila driving manual car but Alhamdulillah, berkat doa dan support daripada mak, ayah, siblings and kekawanan aku, berjaya gak bawa. Oh ho. Maybe that sounds kinda exaggerated a bit sebab aku ada kemekkan kereta but that was before keluar daripada garage. Okay, boleh stop bragging on. Fara, the pink shawl lass, belanja kitaorang kat dip in dip, sempena Decemberians' birthdays. Nak nangis, terharu sangat sebab that was my first time celebrating ramai-ramai with friends though kitaorang sambut on January, bukan December, but who cares.
Aaaand adik aku for the first time in his life working, that was his first day of working. Bangga aku, bila dia mampu mematangkan diri keluar daripada kepompong hikikomori dan berjumpa dengan para manusia lain. Till now, nasib baik dia suka kerja dia, suka orang sekeliling berjuang bersama dengannya. Hee.
Rumah aku paling dekat dengan Tesco, so aku ada gak beberapa kali pergi sana. Paling jauh dan selalu aku pergi, sana je lah. Okay, pergi Damansara haritu tak dikira because I don't think aku akan pergi lagi ke sana for the second time...uhmm, just no. Unless, with friend(s) by my side. Oh, back to the story. Bila aku pergi dengan ayah aku, kitorang rajin brunch kat sana idk why ayah aku saja-saja nak belanja. So, instead buying the beverage kat food court, aku prefer Emmi's Macchiato Caffe Latte or maybe Coffee Peppermint from Each-A-Cup. Lately, mak aku selalu belanja aku yogurt. Aku rasa itu yogurt paling gedabak apak besaq pernah aku ada and 'm lovin it! Dulu, before I enrolled at CFS IIUM, aku selalu gak hanging out with my sistah, Adiba Sukaria. Pergi taman, but not for exercising. Please. Then, baru-baru ni, pergi lagi. Reminiscing. Then, ada roti ni macam siput bentuknya. A cream bun with price RM 0.80. Oi, mahal bro. Tapi nasib baik sedap. Rasanya every time, family hang out, mesti mak belanja Each-A-Cup or Chatime or something yang sejenis macam dua brands tu. Then, teringat...kat asrama aku pun ada jual but peliknya, dia hanya jual once on the day I wasn't even exist kat sana sebab malas balik. It was Wednesday. Cafe Makcik jual Strawberry Chocolote with only RM1. Gila lah weh!
JJAAAAAAAAAAAANG ~~!!!
Aku dah setahun tak lukis dorang dengan serius and with black ink! Selalu sketch but jarang nak outline them with black ink. Malas weh. Outlining them yang bukan besar A4 pun took a night. Lagi bagus if that night spent with dramas. But tak menyesal pun. Aku lukis sebab it has been a year I didn't draw them like this. These five are my favorite ocs ever. Aku ni woman ((dah in twenties kan)) with dreams and ambitions, so maybe one fine day, aku akan buat something bigger with these ocs. Kita tak tau kan, selagi belum give up and belum cuba.
Aku ada satu buku that is not even a sketch or diary book. Buku tu menempatkan all my random thoughts, dreams and everything but bukan personal dan secretive sangat, bagi aku lah. So if anyone yang gatal tangan, mata nak membaca buku tu, tak haram pun. It has nothing but only everything abt me. Takkan nak lukis dan tulis pasal orang lain when the one who leads your life is you, kan? Above...itu my first experiment, fast random drawings. Takde laju mana pun, actually. Aku jarang sangat lukis lukisan sebegitu rupa. Usually, I would draw a figure, or most of the time, mata. Bila aku lukis macam ni, it was just a test and experiment. Nak tengok how far my brain works. So far, aku ni still tak kreatif mana pun. So, unoriginal but who cares. Getting inspired and start making this shitless shit out dah okay bagi aku, at least. Aku pernah nangis semingguan sebab risau tak boleh lukis. If aku kata aku boleh lukis, semua orang expect aku actually boleh lukis seorang insan, a portrait or otak aku ni genius sangat dalam bab-bab lukis ni. So, saya di sini, ingin mematahkan semua harapan dan expectation anda, sebab aku langsung bukan begitu. Aku lukis sebab aku suka lukisan aku, sounds a bit narcissistic somehow.
This post will be edited soon sebab aku ingat nak cerita something but better takyah include it here because perihal itu belum sempurna lagi. If and only if everything will be work just fine dengan izin Allah, surely aku share every lemons, rainbow, gummy bears, shitless shits, semua kat sini. On 1st January of 2014, my life is changed, In shaa Allah, positively and with hope that the changes will constantly benefit me and others too. Entahlah, life goes on.
P/S:
I'm not sure whether drawing wastes my precious scarce time or not. One of reasons why aku tak pilih jalan ke arah drawing-related - aku tak rasa motivated nak buat, instead of receiving supports and motivated quotes from people around me, I was surround with people who see this negatively. "Tak payahlah, lukis-lukis ni. Buang masa je." Aku tau lukisan aku tak berapa lawa or kreatif bagai, but as long as bila lukis aku puas dan boleh comfort myself, I won't stop...uhmm well.
PP/S:
You cannot backspace your sins and wrongdoings. However, you can correct them(words) by regretting, apologizing. Then, replace them(action) with good deeds that includes your sincerity of intention. That is what we called in Islam, al-Inabah.
